Money Shot.

This one's about writing, performing, or any sort of expressive kind of thing where you start to question how comfortable you are with what you're doing, and what your reasons are for doing it. Also, the title could be a lot better.

This is pornography.
Voyeurs of the vulnerable who are in search of being loved.
Exploitation of private moments, exploring how far you and I will go.
Does it turn you on? Does it get you hot under the collar?
Does it get you off? You know it gets me hot and bothered.
Deeper baby, harder.

Read me like a book, I'm your centerfold, stained at my own request.
I am nothing but ink on paper, and I am nothing without any of you.
I need you to see me to make all of this worth it.
To make this all valid.
To counter all the ways this hurts me.
Now deeper baby, harder.

This is a snuff movie, but I am still a fucking star.
I'll keep screaming if you keep watching,
Is the lighting right for you?
Is my make up running?

This is my supply meeting your demand, (I love it)
But who came first?
I'm there, and I hate it.

A Fresh and False Start

None of us did the things we said we would.
None of us got the tattoos, none of us lived our dreams.
I can't believe I'm almost forgiving you.
Absence and distance makes the heart grow fonder I guess.

Absence and distance makes the memories and facts fade.

Is it for the best? Am I becoming the bigger person?
Am I just folding again, am I just folding again?
I can still feel the cold on my hands, I can still feel the cold in my heart
But I can feel all the glaciers we made melting.

Perhaps it's for the best. Maybe it's the smarter option. I mean you can try to get what you always wanted. Choose safety, you know it makes sense.

I don't believe in destinations, but maybe I believe in fate.
Absence and distance is making my memories fucking fade.
I think we could one day maybe even talk again, even though you're someone
That I
Hate.

Kiss You.

This song is for The Hold Steady and my friends. But this song is about her, and how I imagine it would be like right now if she'd been there last night. That makes it sound like it's a sad song, I think, but to me it's not. It's meant to be a really 'aww' song, if you know what I mean, which is something different.

We both woke up feeling fucked, still buzzed from the partying
But I don't think it matters cos for once I woke up smiling.
Lying on our sides like the ones that make 11's
Looking at each others faces like this was some kind of heaven.

The band was great last night you know, they made me feel alive again.
I was singing all the words and I was really in the action
Maybe it's the whiskey talking but it's my mouth making all the motions.
Last night I was screaming songs but now I'm softly phrasing passion

And all the while, just wanting to quietly kiss you and kiss you and kiss you and kiss you
Yeah all the time, I just want to kiss you.

And I know theres a lot of stuff stuck in our systems
A lot of reasons why neither of us really should listen
To the voices in each others ears telling us to give in
But we've got reasons to believe that this is not the voice of reason.

Let's let the afternoon come get us, let's see the light in through your blinds.
But lets stay in bed til then reliving last nights good times.
The music and the dancing and the drinking and the lights
The way I held you for the slow songs...

All the while just wanting to kiss you and kiss you and kiss you and kiss you
Yeah all the time, you know I just want to kiss you.

This is the first song I've been able to write in about a month, and it feels great.

Adrift In My Lungs.

Another routine usage of water and the sea as metaphor. Great. Be clever and figure out for yourself what it's about. I actually sort of don't know myself, but I've got a distinct idea.

When glass hits lips, we both shatter and spill.
Drenched in each other's guilt.
Our sinking ships,
This would only ever get us both killed.

Still we left the shore, not knowing what for,
We left the shore and I made an ocean in my insides.

Running my mouth like water, kicking my legs like they were paper.
Before folding and floating face down when our silence is said and done.

Not drowned but choked
By hope
Flooding from my open throat.
Escaping me like you did.
Flowing into the ocean that I am submerged in now.

Tides taking away the words.
Time has stopped ticking.
All I can hear are waves crashing
Together
Like
Worlds.

Glasses smashing, and hands snatching
At the way that you and I were.